Hollywood actress Jillian Reeves: On advice for aspiring actresses & why Black women must prioritise our self-care and mental health

14th August 2024Afrowoman1Afrowoman's World, Blog, Our Features0

Jillian Reeves: Image copyright: Virginia Niccolucci @virginia_niccolucci_photo

I had the privilege to interview Jillian Reeves, who embodies the essence of Hollywood’s creative spirit, with a career that spans acting, advocacy, and filmmaking. The latest project for this vibrant actress is a lead role in the powerful film and true story: the “Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot,”. It’s a story about a small American town where 22 families adopted 77 of the hardest to adopt children.

Jillian made a memorable debut in BET’s groundbreaking “Let’s Talk”, series regular on TVOne’s “Media”, international debut in “L’Amore All’ Improvviso” and her guest appearance and recurring roles on hits like CBS’s The Unicorn, Young and the Restless, CSI: Miami, Grey’s Anatomy, Masters of Sex, Jillian has continued to captivate audiences.

A talented filmmaker and an advocate for Mental Health Awareness particularly within the African-American community, Jillian has developed the short film “Broken” using #EndTheStigma for her campaign. Her craft led her to establish the AAA Masterclass, where she serves as the lead acting coach, supporting others to stand out on-camera performances.

Read this 2nd part of the interview, where Jillian talks about her advice for other Black women who want to be an actress and the actresses who really inspire her…

You said earlier that when you came to acting you already had children, which must have been difficult for you; you must have done a lot of work on your own boundaries – What advice would you give to other Black women who are coming into the film industry or are generally making changes with their life, while balancing other priorities (for example children); what advice would you give them for managing their time and health?

JR: My advice would be that as you’re choosing the work that you do, think about the legacy you’re leaving and create your own stories. Also we have to support each other. There are so many things that can divide us and how we’re seen is important. We’re not telling a lot of our stories so how we’re seen is dictated by other people. The more we support each other in telling our stories, the more power we’ll have to do that. Then we can have more diverse stories.

That can go for whatever industry you’re in – doing spices, conferences or creating content or doing entrepreneurship. I think we’re doing less than we realise. In the US, there’s certain parts that’s better at supporting each other and some parts want to embrace colour blindness more and say “it doesn’t matter” but it does matter. We have to go forth with intention and do things with excellence and give each other grace. Whenever you’re just starting things will never be perfect but we can commit to building each other up instead of tearing each other down. Don’t tear down this blog, this story, this movie. We can contribute to make things better and support each other. There can be a lot of that fighting in our community but we can build and be constructive,

For Black women who’ve been in the TV and film industry, for a while but they are struggling and not getting the roles and/or are feeling depleted, what advice would you give to them for looking after themselves and the journey they are on?

JR: Unpopular advice! I stop when I need to if I’m depleted – I went to Bali for about 4 months last year and I moved to Italy for about a year during the Pandemic. This industry will be here but you have to take care of yourself first. If you’re at the end of your rope then you need to go and do whatever feeds your soul and then you can come back. Don’t let the industry steal your life. When I lived in L.A. I used to worry a lot about missing auditions but you have to remember that your life is happening now and not when you get this or that or accomplish something. This is your life today so you have to make your life something you are proud of. I’m a big proponent of living a full life and not making it only about this achievement or that.

^{Jillian Reeves: Image copyright: Virginia Niccolucci @virginia_niccolucci_photo}

I’ve been planning healing trips to Bali for that kind of restoration – Bali was life changing for me. As I read another interview on your Blog Bali is that type of place where you can centre and focus and figure out what’s important; cause your achievements are not the most important thing.

It is that legacy – can I look back on the last 10 years and know I’ve lived the life I want to live? I didn’t start doing that until later. It was 2018, when I thought wait a minute “something is off about this!” I realized I was always waiting a lot and that’s an unfulfilling place to be.

Creating lives we want to live

We can create our own content, support others creating and take care of ourselves. If you’re not fulfilled, if you’re burned out, then you have to stop and refocus, re-centre and figure out a better way forward. We have one shot at this life and we want to live it.

We’re in a different time where we really can ‘pop over to Bali’ for a few months. My mother’s generation couldn’t imagine doing that. It’s like the Maya Angelou poem “Given the gift that our ancestors gave, I am the dream and I rise and I rise…” I love the feeling that I am a continuation of my ancestors, hopes and prayers and dreams and I want to live that out in the biggest and most expansive way possible. Hopefully I can plant some seeds and clear some space for the people coming behind me. I think that is the biggest thing we can do with our lives.

From everything you’re saying, for us Black women, it’s still us who have to have the conversions about the selfcare, mental health and health?

JR: It’s about that virtue to be strong, when people say “Oh she’s strong!” but after what I went through last year (caring for my mom before she died), I don’t ever want to be called strong again! I think that’s why people say check-in on your strong friends because they can be left alone to bear the burden. You don’t think you can say I’m not ok but you think the whole thing will come crumbling down. But I think men probably have the same fear but they don’t speak about it as you’re supposed to be seen as competent. But I’ve learned there’s a lot of strength in vulnerability and you can get a lot done even if I have to wipe away a tear but I can be honest about what I’m going through.

We can commit to building each other up instead of tearing each other down. We can contribute to make things better and support each other. There can be a lot of that fighting in our community but we can build and be constructive.
Jillian Reeves

There might be moments where you can’t and you have to pull it together. But we have to give ourselves the space to stop at some point and breathe. Or be honest about having a hard day. It doesn’t mean you’re close to falling off the edge. It means I’m being honest about who I am. But a lot of people don’t want to hear you honestly. They don’t want to hear you really. They want to hear “You’re doing fine” and they don’t know what to do with that (if you aren’t ok). But what they can do is say “I hear you and I’m really sorry that you’re going through that and I’m here if you need me and I’m praying for you, you’re stronger than you think you are and I know you can get through this”. That’s enough – you don’t have to solve their problems but just say “I hear you”.

It’s ok to be human

In our community if you tell somebody that, it’s either “Girl pull it together/girl be strong or God will fix it…” It’s just something that negates everything. So, you’re being honest but no-one wants to hear because they don’t know how to interpret or respond. I’m a big proponent of “This is what it is” – I’m authentic to a fault. It doesn’t mean tomorrow isn’t going to be a better day but in this moment this is how I’m feeling. We have to be able to say to each other, I hear you and I’m sorry you’re going through this and you’re in my thoughts, I’m sending you good energy/call me if you need anything. That is real support – not just wanting people to say they’re doing alright. We’re all human – we don’t have to be superheroes. I love the film because you see them doing really challenging things and being vulnerable. The character of Demetrius – who plays Bishop Martin in the film, is a man who can be vulnerable.

This illusion of strength and putting on a mask is why people break, why relationships break down. Why people get burned out and throw up our hands and walk away. I’ve been burned out before and thrown up my hands and walked away. It’s not a good place to get to. We have to try to stick to reality otherwise you bottle it up and it comes out in very unhealthy ways.

I’m really excited about the Join Jillian panel and the things I have planned for the site and this is what I believe is wholeness and health. Sometimes in Bali everybody was in their crystals and walking around hugging! Healing can look like I can be authentically me and I can accept you wherever you are. You don’t have to be happy to please me. I can have healthy boundaries where I don’t take on too much of your energy but I can support you where you are. That’s what I’m excited to promote – it’s so exciting and interesting.

Difficult experiences leading to a full heart

Being an actor is beautiful and creative field and you get to shed light on so many things. But it’s the impact you can have on people and to use your experiences to help and benefit others. I’ve had so many difficult experiences so it’s meaningful to use them to help other [people to lighten their load to have a better life. If there’s anything I’ve been through to encourage people, to show them a better way to do the opposite of what I did or gain wisdom I’m more than happy to do that. I think that’s why we’re here on earth to effect each other, to learn from and support each other. That really makes my heart full.

While you’re busy developing your Join Jillian platform, and being an actor, writer, producer – are you seeing your next steps taking in all of these areas or are you only focused on one part of this for the future?

JR: I used to have this old acting teacher who said “Ride the horse in the direction it’s going” and it’s interesting; I’m open to letting life unfold; having my plans and trusting God to come and be flexible to say “This in unfolding, let me go here”.

I carve out time for each thing, which does makes me feel like a jack of all trades. But it depends on the timing and how much time I have. When I have a lot of time, I can focus on the development of the script for Broken into a longer series. Right now, with it being mental health month I’ve put a lot more energy into that. It depends where I am in time. Or if a great project drops in my lap. Then I’ll focus on that script, story or role. I’m very flexible and I’m very artsy in that way. I do believe in keeping things open to see what God brings, not only my own regimented ideas of what I want to do. That’s when I find my sweet spot, when I have my plans and then I’m open to see how God is going to magnify whatever he’s going to do in the moment. I didn’t plan to work on this film – then it became this huge beautiful thing. I like knowing I’m not fully in control but taking control of the things I can.

You must have a huge network of people you’re working with and supporting you to do all you’re doing as well?

JR: I have a small network of amazing people. But as you become involved in different things your network will grow. I have a few people I resonate with and we have the same sentimentalities and work ethic and we come together and support each other. I feel like as I evolve into different things my tribe grows and changes, it ebbs and flows but the core people who have been there for a whole are still there.

Where you are now (in your career) – any Black woman who wants to following your path in TV and film, what would be your advice to her to get started and stay on course?

JR: If you really want to do it – get into the world – to know what you’re doing, study and whenthe opportunities come it’s important that you’re ready. That’s why I started the AAA Masterclass – standing for Acting, Auditions & Accents: It’s all performance stuff and when you get opportunities you want to be able to make the most of them – to calm noise in youre head and ground yourself and be free to bring that talent out. Then you want to study so you have the tools you need because being on camera is very different to being in theatre. You have to develop good relationships with people. A lot of people say, “Get an agent and go on castings” and yes that’s fine. But what I think is really important is meet those up and coming directors. Meet those up and coming writers. Create relationships with people. Everyone in this industry wants to succeed. If I have a script and I have a role I want that role to be awesome. So, I want whoever comes in for that role to be awesome. People really want you to succeed. They want you to be the one when you come in the room.

This industry will be here but you have to take care of yourself first. If you’re at the end of your rope then you need to go and do whatever feeds your soul and then you can come back. Don’t let the industry steal your life.
Jillian Reeves

I think developing a network of people – that system of directors, writers, doing readings. Those are the people who will be thinking about you, who will be creating the work.

Aspiring actors need to broaden horizons

I always look at things from top down instead of bottom up. I’m more interested in talking to the writers, producers, directors and than casting or agents because the director can tell the casting person to call her – and want her to come in. The casting person can say “We want her”. So switch your thought process, that’s my biggest advice.

Most actors I know see their agents as so important but if you know producers, directors and writers they can by-pass a lot and bring you in to read for roles. So broaden your horizons and don’t just think agent/manager. Think (to yourself) I’ll do this reading for this writer or I’ll do this student film.

Don’t be too ‘me’ focused

An example of widening your network: I auditioned for a student film a few years ago and now I see the same guy doing major Hollywood films; I think he’s a Ryan Coogler protégé now. I remember auditioning for him when he was at USC! Broaden your horizons!

Know that all of those people are just people. They want to do a good job and have kids and families. The more you can see them as equals, the more you can ask them “How are you? How was your day?” – not just say or think “I want them to do this for me”. Really think of them as your family, as your extended network. Know a little bit about them – if it’s their birthday send them something.

A lot of times actors can get a little ‘me focused’. Start to view people as people and treat them how you want to be treated and notice them when you don’t need them. Your network is going to grow your network. People will love to see you coming. They will want to champion you if your work is good. That’s where you want to be. It’s the same with everything – don’t be fear based or selfish based. Definitely think about those people who can make the call and get you in the room and help you to bypass those first couple of people.

Which actresses inspire you or their work ‘feeds’ you in your craft?

JR: Viola Davis is one of my favourites and her performance in Antoinne Fisher movie – she killed it! She had one scene and no lines but people don’t even remember that! She was outstanding without one line and one scene. That’s incredible that she had such impact in that movie. That level of talent is incredible. I aspire to that – can I pull off a scene without saying a word and being one of the most memorable people in the movie. Jillian enthusiastically told me I have to Google Viola in that scene ! And revealed that Viola’s name in the movie is Eva Mae – the same name as Jillian’s late mother.

I love Ava DuVernay story telling. Her film Origin is just outstanding. She breaks a mould! I love the diversity of her stories and they are not relegated to whatever some people think Black movies are. Aunjanue Ellis – the lead in Origin has been killing the game for a long time. She has been a renaissance woman. So smart and she takes her characters so serious. I watched her as the mum in Kind Richard (Venus and Serena movie) She was in the Mentalist and she’s phenomenal actress. These are the actresses that I want to be like when I grow up! Powerful, strong, confident Black women! I love that Viola speaks out so much that she was told she wasn’t going to make it and her journey.

I’m really excited about the Join Jillian panel and the things I have planned for the site and this is what I believe is wholeness and health. I can have healthy boundaries where I don’t take on too much of your energy but I can support you where you are. That’s what I’m excited to promote – it’s so exciting and interesting.
Jillian Reeves

She’s so honest and about her journey to find her self worth. It’s also our journey especially when you haven’t grown up seeing yourself on TV. Especially when you don’t grow up seeing yourself on tv, on cereal boxes or dolls.

This can be a real struggle. I live in LA which created a beauty standard which isn’t always what we (Black women) look like. I just love the realness, authenticity and strength and showing the diversity of us and celebrating us. I love it and I’m here for it. Those are my goals – actress, director goals from all three of these women.

What’s your hopes and wishes for next steps in your career and future?

JR: I’m excited to see what happens. I have my plans and things I’m aspiring towards but I love leaving room to see what God does. I’m hoping to do my first healing journey back to Bali in dec and I’ll be taking a small group there. I’m really excited to continue Broken ‘cause I love the message so much and I’m still flushing out the story and the creative process of writing, developing and telling a deeper story. I’m excited about those things. I’m not sure which one will pop off first or another script lands.

But great things are in the works! I post about everything so stay engaged. I’m excited about the Caregivers corner I have coming up this month and supporting us in nurturing, caregiving. I’m determined that we’re going to have someone who cares about us, while we’re out here giving up ourselves to everybody. I really want to create that circle that supports us. Instagram is best place to follow and learn more about me – that’s my ground zero!